This post got me thinking about my own sleep (or lack thereof). I read it yesterday evening and it seemed to turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy for me. I’m always hoping for the elusive good nights sleep. I remember as a teenager sleeping for 13 or 14 hours on the weekends no problem. Nothing and no one could wake me up. Now I wish I could just get a few hours of that same deep, restful sleep. I have to take two medicines to fall asleep and help me stay asleep every night. I dream a lot. I never used to remember my dreams. Now it’s like my brain is watching TV in my sleep. My dreams aren’t like a whole storyline that only makes sense when you’re unconscious. It’s like I’m channel flipping. I just get a clip here, a clip there, all strung together all night long. When I do have a long dream, 9 times out of 10 it’s a bad dream. My husband had to wake me up last night because I was talking in my sleep. In my head I was screaming but he said I was just mumbling. I’ve asked my doctors about my dreaming and they said that this type of dreaming isn’t the type of dreams you get when you reach the deeper, more restful levels of sleep. I’m stuck in one of the higher levels dreaming these weird, channel flipping dreams, and not getting the rest I need.
Before I took my leave of absence from work in April, I was running on fumes. I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in months. I started sleeping better a couple of weeks after taking a break from work. Now that I’m back at work, I’m having trouble sleeping again. It’s not as bad as it was before April, but it’s still not fun. I long for a good night’s rest. When I was young, I was only able to nap when I was sick or had a migraine. Now, I can usually nap whenever. I don’t get as much rest from it as people without fibro do, I think, but it helps. As the weeks pass now that I’ve returned to work, my sleep is slowing improving. I just hope it improves faster before I start to crash again.